Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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