dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
