Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's official drugs can't kill me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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