I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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