So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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