Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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