this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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