she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
