I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
