garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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