Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
