do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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