You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
