bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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