Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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