Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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