The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
