More tranny stories later!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
