sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
