Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
