just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
