Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
