What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
