it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
