Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
