I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
