she was so not down for the gang bang
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he thought i was a dude.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
