Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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