So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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