Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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