I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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