Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
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Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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