how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have feelings that need drinking.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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