Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
