apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
do herpes really smell.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
