I'm eating all of the evidence.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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