In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
