we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
