no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
it's like iHOP with fire
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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