So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i came on her dog
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
