She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
