If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
