Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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