I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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