she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
