What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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