You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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