i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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