the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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