I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
