LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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