i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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