My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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