You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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