what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
