i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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