community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
