The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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