We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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