I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize