omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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