watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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