This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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