My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
